It's the Best Seat in the House Spongebob

	"Cutting! No, Mermaid Man, information technology's 'stolen Krabby Patties.'" This transcript is in need of repair. Delight help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by fixing this transcript. Please remove this message when finished.

This commodity is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Good Neighbors" from Season iv, which aired on May 20, 2005.

Notation: Line in scarlet is cut in Indonesia.

• [Everyone is sleeping until SpongeBob's foghorn alarm wakes Squidward up.]
• Squidward: SpongeBob...
• SpongeBob: Proficient forenoon, Squidward!
• Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing in my house?!
• SpongeBob: I came to make sure you lot don't oversleep and miss work.
• Squidward: [sarcastically] Oh gee, SpongeBob, that's very thoughtful of you.
• SpongeBob: My pleasance, Squidward. That'southward what proficient neighbors are for.
• Squidward: You did overlook one teensy little detail, however.
• SpongeBob: What's that, Squidward?
• Squidward: It's Dominicus! [angrily kicks SpongeBob out of his house] A skilful neighbor doesn't bother me on Sunday!
• SpongeBob: Sunday? No wonder Squidward'southward grumpy. He forgot his Sunday papers. This'll evidence Squidward I'thousand a proficient neighbor. I'll bring it to him. [breaks the string that holds the newspaper together] Man, this is heavy. [The paper falls to the basis and SpongeBob puts it together as a paper ball] [bumps into Patrick] Oh, pardon me.
• Patrick: Hey, sentry where you're going. [screams] Newspaper monster!
• SpongeBob: [throws paper in the air, screaming] Monster! [both scream and run effectually]
• Squidward: Will y'all two nincompoops kindly quiet down?! I am non going to let them ruin the rest of my Sunday. [hums] My Sunday relaxation kit. [reaches into box] Let's see…pillow. [puts pillow on stop of couch] Placed ever and so for slight human foot peak. Flower--to burnish the room. Flower fragrance. [sprays fragrance on bloom. The blossom dies. Squidward sniffs and sighs.] And the last touch. [dials on phone] Yes, I'd like to society the Dominicus special. Yes, the pedicure and foot massage house call, that is correct. See y'all at 4, my practiced human. [hangs up phone] Ah, this is gonna be a heavenly day. Oh, I near forgot. [grabs a box] Bon-bons. Hello there, heaven's piffling wonder. Accept me on a chocolate vacation. [SpongeBob & Patrick raise up from behind the couch making noises and with spinning fezzes. Squidward spits out his chocolate and growls.]
• SpongeBob & Patrick: [singing a deep note] By the all seeing centre. Ye are worthy, we are non.
• Squidward: What are you two idiots doing?
• Patrick: Secret ritual.
• SpongeBob: To inaugurate you as president.
• Squidward: Me? President of Bikini Bottom? I knew the people would come to their senses.
• Patrick: No, silly. Not the president of Bikini Bottom. Even amend.
• Squidward: Better?
• SpongeBob: You're the president of 'The Secret Royal Social club of the Adept Neighbor Lodge'.
• Squidward: The what? Is this some stupid club you two made up? [SpongeBob & Patrick gasp and then laugh]
• Patrick: Maybe. [both laugh]
• SpongeBob: It's a cloak-and-dagger. [both express joy]
• Squidward: Fine! Every bit my first presidential prescript, uhh, why don't you, uhh, go out and paint all the leaves on the trees to make the neighborhood look nicer? [pushing SpongeBob & Patrick out the door] Now out, out, out, out, out, out, out. That'll keep them busy for a few Sundays. [closes the door, screams when SpongeBob & Patrick appear from inside]
• SpongeBob: What colour should nosotros paint the leaves, your presidentialocity?
• Squidward: Ahh! Polka dots! At present don't bother me anymore.
• SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow. Polka dots.
• Patrick: Our new president is a genius.
• SpongeBob: Yeah. [both laugh]
• SpongeBob & Patrick: See ya later, Squidward.
• SpongeBob: [now outside, a red paint can drops on the ground] Whenever you're ready, Patrick.
• Patrick: [Patrick unscrews SpongeBob's hat which turns out to exist a spiral] Hold still, buddy. [pours the red paint inside SpongeBob's hole. When he is done, he throws the tin can away and ends up striking an elderly citizen Lonnie riding a bike. Patrick screws the hat back in.]
• SpongeBob: Okay, Pat, gimme a quick shake.
• Patrick: Okie dokie. [Patrick shakes SpongeBob]
• SpongeBob: Okay! I'thou set! [Patrick grabs SpongeBob's arm and uses it like a slot machine. Drops of red paint come shooting out of SpongeBob'due south holes and onto the copse.] Hey, that worked perfectly. C'monday, proficient neighbour Patrick, let's paint the boondocks polka dot.
• Squidward: [clock on wall is ringing noon] Oh, no. Information technology's already noon. I will be darned if I allow those morons eat up anymore of my valuable Sunday.
• SpongeBob & Patrick: [singing outside of Squidward's window] Good neighbors are we. La-la-la-la-laa-la.
• Squidward: What's going on out in that location?
• SpongeBob: Howdy, President Squidward. Almost done painting… [Patrick pulls on SpongeBob's arm which makes the pigment shoot out his holes and all over Squidward'south face and in his eyes]
• Squidward: [screams] My eyes! [continues screaming as he runs effectually bumping into stuff. Runs outside and in forepart of a car.]
• Gale Rechid: Look out! [car slams on brakes and stops in forepart of Squidward]
• Frank (red shirt): Oh, you poor man.
• Gale Rechid: You must be very sick. Let us take yous to the hospital.
• Squidward: No really, I'yard fine. Please, I…no, I'm f-fine. [mumbles] [Frank and Gale put Squidward in the back seat and drive off]
• SpongeBob & Patrick: See ya after, neighbor!
• Patrick: It is a lovely day for a ride in the state.
• SpongeBob: Aye, our president certain knows how to live. [later] I'd similar to call this meeting of the skilful neighbor lodge to lodge. Allow's begin with role telephone call: Patrick. [Patrick is snoring] OK…Squidward? [Squidward's chair is empty] Squidward? Squidward, you lot home?
• Patrick: Did you find him, SpongeBob?
• SpongeBob: Nope. I approximate he's still on his Sunday drive.
• Patrick: Or maybe he's on a surreptitious mission.
• SpongeBob: I hope he'southward not in danger.
• Patrick: Danger?!
• SpongeBob: As members of the proficient neighbour club, nosotros are sworn to protect our president from danger.
• Harold (carmine fish): Excuse me? Somebody ordered a relaxing pedicure and foot massage? The Dominicus special?
• SpongeBob: Brother Star, we'd better check this guy out. Make sure he's safe for Squidward.
• Squidward: At least I still have my Sunday pedicure to expect frontward to. [SpongeBob & Patrick are laughing inside Squidward's business firm. Squidward opens his front door] What are you two doing in my house?
• SpongeBob: We're checking to make certain this guy actually is a certified foot masseur and not some kind of assassinator.
• Patrick: I say he checks out a-ok.
• SpongeBob: Squidward, have you ever seen more lovely French tips? [shows foot with long toenails]
• Squidward: French tips, huh? [pushes SpongeBob and Patrick's chair out of the way] Alright, pal, make with the relaxing pes massage, pronto!
• Harold (red fish): Uh-oh. Um...no, Sorry. Your hour's up. [packed upwards and leave]
• Squidward: [He shockedly twitches his eye. As SpongeBob happily wiggles his toes, he angrily makes way toward the front door, opens it and points his finger outside] Alright, you two! Out! [SpongeBob and Patrick, realizing that they are in problem, slowly walk out] And don't even call up about dragging your empty skulls effectually hither for the rest of the 24-hour interval! Or tomorrow! Or next calendar week!
• SpongeBob: Squidward, does that include…?
• Squidward: [angrily screams] Yes, it does! [furiously slams the door]
• SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick. Practice you lot remember Squidward was trying to tell us something?
• Squidward: [furiously smashes his head through the door, screaming] Aye, I was! You call yourselves good neighbors?! You're the worst neighbors always! [deep breath] Y'all don't deserve to wear those fezzes! [furiously takes SpongeBob and Patrick'due south fezzes, angrily grits his teeth and angrily stomps them into the footing]
• SpongeBob: Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward'southward right.
• Patrick: Yeah, I gauge nosotros aren't proficient neighbors after all.
• Squidward: [pops dorsum out through the hole of his front end door, screaming with rage] No, you aren't! You lot're horrible neighbors! [angrily hyperventilates] And cease calling me president!
• SpongeBob: C'mon, let's become. [SpongeBob and Patrick sadly walk away]
• Squidward: There are only 3 hours of my Sunday left. They took it all away. I didn't fifty-fifty get to read the Sunday paper. [notices pile of paper on the ground with a note on it]
• SpongeBob: ['Here's Your Sunday Paper Squidward. Enjoy. Love, SpongeBob.']
• [Squidward steams upwards furiously, kicks the paper into the air, then growls like a dog. Then he takes a paper off his head.]
• Squidward: Good neighbors, my right. [reads paper] Hello? "Go along Out Intruders For Proficient! New Security Arrangement 5000. Gratis Installation" [Squidward does an evil express joy. Later, he has the security system built in and turned on.]
• Security Organisation: System activated.
• Squidward: Well, that oughta practice it. Permit's see those imbeciles endeavor to get in here now.
• SpongeBob: [he with Patrick, with their fezzes dorsum on, walk upwardly to Squidward] President Squidward?
• Squidward: [screams] What the…?!
• SpongeBob: We hereby present you with this succulent cake.
• Squidward: [reads writing on block] "Distressing for bugging you so much"? What the…? Security organization, help! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! What'southward the matter with you?!
• Security Arrangement: No threat detected.
• Squidward: [angry, banging on security system] Oh! You infernal contraption! I'm gonna ship you off to the scrapheap y'all came from!
• Security System: Threat detected. [Squidward screaming while the organization shoots a laser at him which makes SpongeBob & Patrick'southward cake fly into the air and land on the system, causing it to go haywire.]
• Squidward: Now, what'southward going on?
• Security System: Threat detected. Code ruby-red! Lawmaking red!
• SpongeBob: [laughing as fireworks are shooting out all over Squidward's house] It'southward like a carnival ride.
• Squidward: [running around] Run for your lives! [Squidward'southward house suddenly grows legs and artillery and stands up. And so grabs Squidward from within. He yells.] What the…?! What are you doing?! [Squidward's house kicks him into the air and walks off, Squidward trembles in fright and he holds himself together] I only take one-half an hour of me time left, and the idiots took my house. Which means those boobs aren't around to bug me. [gasps] Ooh, merely what I've been waiting for. [laughs hysterically] I am gonna relax… if it kills me. [takes a deep breath] Ahhh!
• [Meanwhile, Squidward'southward firm is on a rampage while people are screaming]
• Regular army: Burn down! [The tank fires a missile at the business firm, but the house catches the missile and flicks it away. Then the house grabs the tank, squishes information technology, and throws it away.]
• Patrick: Wow. Squidward's business firm is destroying the neighborhood.
• SpongeBob: Nosotros gotta plow this thing off. [turns on a calorie-free switch] Nope, not it.
• Patrick: [flushes the toilet] Nope.
• SpongeBob: [turns on the fan] Nope.
• Patrick: [pushes the toaster button down] That's not it, either.
• Squidward: [still resting] This Sunday relaxation really hits the spot. [house stands correct above Squidward]
• SpongeBob: Hmmm, where to look. [notices an "off button" on the wall] Hmmm, this off button seems suspicious. [pushes push button and firm sits on top of Squidward and goes back to normal] Nosotros did information technology, Patrick! [Squidward busts through from beneath the floor] President Squidward?
• Squidward: [calmly] No-no, don't say annihilation more. This was all my fault. I was the one who wanted to relax on Sunday. At present, if yous'll be and then kind to get out so that I can get ready for work tomorrow.
• SpongeBob: Mr. President...
• Squidward: Shush.
• SpongeBob: But, we only wanted to...
• Squidward: [yells in their faces angrily] Get out of my business firm! [notices an angry mob surrounding his house] Huh?
• [Every bit presently as SpongeBob and Patrick flee from Squidward, a whole angry mob: Larry the Lobster, Lou, Mable-Monica, Lenny, Henry-Bart, Paco, an anchovy, Molly, Shubie, Martin, three Officeholder Slugfish, Harv, Scooter, Thaddeus, Nazz-Mimi, two Nat Peterson's, Sadie Rechid, Nathiel Waters, Mable (grayness), and 2 police boats appear exterior Squidward's house.]
• Scooter: There he is!
• Mr. Poecilia: [walks up to Squidward] Are you the owner of this house?
• Squidward: Yes! Yes, I am!
• Mr. Poecilia: Then on behalf the citizens of Bikini Bottom, I nowadays yous with this summons to pay for the destruction of our town. [hands Squidward the summons] You'll be doing community service every Sunday for the remainder of your life. [walks off]
• Squidward: Huh? [twitches his left eye and looks at the camera]
• SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, you got i of those, too? [SpongeBob & Patrick walk up with a summons in their easily] This'll be great. The 3 of us cleaning upwardly Bikini Bottom. Well, see ya adjacent Sunday, President Squidward.
• [Squidward twitches with rage, catastrophe the episode.]

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Source: https://spongebob.fandom.com/wiki/Good_Neighbors/transcript

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